Sometimes. Especially when there is a clash of incentives.
Martial arts are an incentive-based industry: belts, trophies, certificates, badges etc.
Children are highly motivated to acquire these awards, so much so that they are willing to undergo behavior modification: improve grades, be more polite, not talk back, pick up after themselves, finish what they start, keep their room tidy, etc.
Parents on the other hand are motivated by savings. When the two clash the child is always impacted negatively. Here are five things that parents do, unknowingly, that hurts their child’s development in martial arts
Not commit: Sometimes a parent enters their child into a martial arts environment with an “I thought I’d let him/her try it. If they like it, I will let him/her continue attitude.” That kind of attitude spells doom from the very start. The idea that you are only going to let them try means that you are not going to invest in the kinds of things that will keep a child motivated to do their best. In my over forty years as an instructor, I have never known a parent with that mentality to buy their child a uniform or let them take a test. The child in turn suffers a this is not real attitude and does not apply themselves. The parent, wrongly, concludes I am glad that I did not waste my money when in fact it was not spending the money that caused the problem.
Uniform: To save money parents will go on Amazon and purchase a uniform at a discount thereby sabotaging the feeling of pride that comes with being a part of a recognized team. Instructors go through great expense to build their reputations in the martial arts community; they become world, U.S., and regional champions. It is not just for the title it is so that they can teach from an experienced position. Uniforms that have school logos emblazoned on them speak to the quality of teaching that the student is receiving and give the student pride in membership.
Equipment: Of all the things that handicaps a child’s development this one baffles me the most; a parent who refuses to purchase safety gear. This not just puts the child in danger it short circuits their development. Think about it, you would not dream of letting your child play football without padding, baseball without a bat, gymnastics without gymnastics attire, etc. yet every session I encounter as a parent that says, “do I have to buy that?” Again, if a child does not have the proper gear they can not participate, if they cannot participate, they not only can not receive the benefit they feel demoralized.
Testing: Out of all the things that keep someone motivated to succeed testing is the king! Here is why: testing equates to progress; progress equates to motivation. When I first joined a martial arts class in the sixty’s there were only four belts: white, green, brown, and black; it took a year to get a green belt, another year to get a brown belt, and another year to get a black belt. Students were dropping out like flies because they would become demotivated.
Have you ever gone on a fishing trip that you were extremely excited about initially but after sitting around for hours on a pier and not catching anything gave up, said forget this, and went home? It is the same feeling when you do martial arts and do not test frequently.
It took years for martial arts instructors to finally produce a system that would allow students to stay motivated long enough so that they could acquire the benefit that they wanted to achieve from martial arts.
Tournaments: Tournaments are huge confidence builders, but they are expensive to host they reason is insurance. The average tournament can cost the host a minimum of $3k to host and that does not include building rental, trophies, medals, certificates, and any other giveaways that they may consider. A parent might look at the cost of a tournament and say, “maybe next time.”
Here is how martial arts psychologically works! The instructor provides the incentive, the student rising to the challenge acquires a benefit. The student enjoys the experience and becomes more motivated to succeed. The instructor provides a slightly more difficult incentive, the student (confident of success because of their last experience) takes the challenge does well, and continues to move up the latter. The only thing that can break this cycle is an unwilling parent.
Doctor, Lawyer, Economist, Veterinarian, Owner of a business if your child grows up and becomes one of these things was it worth the cost?
May you have everything that you want and want everything that you have.
-MB